And then there are those of us who are seen as unattractive despite our personalities, our relationship skills, the way we carry ourselves, whose unattractiveness is not "malleable". A commenter below talked at length about the "point system", about dating "in your league", and believe me, short men and fat women know far too much about leagues and superficial judgements. "You can do better than that", words spoken by friends and family that only the very strong can resist;)