It really does feel like that doesn’t it? I’m on the last lap of my eldercare marathon, placed my 97 year old dad in an assisted living facility and move in/out day is Tuesday, to my immense relief. Theoretically I have 3 sibs, in practical terms I may as well be an only child. It’s been about 10 years, my mom slowly declined but maintained her sharp mind, my beloved stepmom developed Alzheimer’s and her life with my dad slowly disintegrated. He started a long path into dementia in his late 80’s, probably not Alzheimer’s, and I moved him in with me 4 1/2 years ago.

My tendency, possibly yours too, was to go into emergency fixit mode without looking very far ahead. While that occupied my time and energy as I forced his move and built a fairly rich environment for him in my home, it left me vulnerable to mounting emotional turmoil as we settled into a routine. I finally got into counseling this year, am starting to untangle the childhood issues that make his growing helplessness and incompetence trigger so many negative emotions for me.

No doubt you know of the low level but never ending stress of care giving, I wish I had been better prepared. Take care of yourself, schedule a regular massage or yoga class, or both;) Realize that you HAVE to have breaks where you are truly off the clock, Visiting Angels or a similar service can be a godsend. I’ll be rooting for you, Griz.