My brother's wife started isolating him from his family the week of the wedding (40 years ago). She kept him isolated from his side, prevented my mom from having a relationship with her grandchildren, and now she has him isolated from their children. The term she uses and he has repeated to me on those occasions that we speak is that they "go dark" on people, right now they are dark on me.

Two avenues she uses now to keep him in the relationship now are money and religion. They are fundamental Christians, he takes Biblical warnings against divorce seriously, and then of course there is community property. Losing half of his stuff seems to be a strong motive though I can't imagine living with the constant tension and verbal abuse, not to mention the occasional hitting. Thanks for writing this, families and friends need to know the warning signs, particularly the isolation which comes first and is often the most hurtful to those outside the relationship.