There might be a pop psyche way to approach this. If you tell your teen, “you are articulate”, or “look pretty tonight”, or “did a great job on the dishes”, you are reminding them that you sit in judgement over them. If you use “I” phrases, “I really got your argument”, “I was moved by your images”, I saw that you did the dishes, thanks”. you are noticing and reporting your reactions. Don’t really know, just spitballing here.