This definition seems to be at the heart of the lack of "romance" in hookup culture. I'm old and have never participated, but I have a VERY different definition of the word friend and the relationship it describes.

In the hookup scene the appropriate term would be "acquaintances with benefits". Actually being friends takes much more effort and is much more emotionally rewarding, regardless of the presence or absence of "benefits".

Friends actively care for one another, commit to loyalty to one another, invest in each other's happiness and wellbeing. Actual friends approach the possibility of "benefits" cautiously, knowing that the emotions that arise are powerful and bring the possibility of losing the friendship over misunderstandings or disappointments. The loss of an actual friendship is a real loss. The loss of an acquaintance is a minor event.

Expecting a person to invest tenderness, intimacy, sensitivity in a casual relationship is unrealistic, and expecting this from a "dude" is an exercise in futility.