This describes it perfectly. When a loved one dies you never "get over it", the loss is real and deep and to one degree or another you learn to live with it. The loss of the children you never had is less focused but just as real. Some people try to put the loss of a loved one behind them, some people use the loss to inspire the kind of action that will honor their life, bring meaning to their death. This is hard to do when the life you mourn never took form.