This is just so sad. All those years of glowing youthful beauty wasted. Well, you are still young, have discovered new paths to self regard. I would suggest a year or two of wearing plain, practical clothes, of limiting the morning routine to fifteen minutes or less including no makeup; clean and minimally groomed. Commit for a while to earning whatever friendship, approval and feelings of self worth you can with the personal attributes over which you will always have control, your compassion, your intelligence, your creativity. You can always go back to the superficial and transient… you’re still young.